Movies over the weekend

So I was pretty sick over the weekend and rented a rediculous amount of movies. Here's a few observations.

1) Van Helsing


I wish that I wore more pratical shoes.

If the above image doesn't tell you all you need to know about this amazingly stupid film...

I think that the following sums up the film pretty well:

Villagers: Look, Vampires in the sky! Run! Aieeee!
Stupid Computer-Generated Vampires: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Villagers (running): Aieeeeeee!
Stupid Computer-Generated Vampires:Yesss! Blood! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Villagers: Look they've brought their vampire children! Run! Aieeee!
Stupid Computer-Generated Vampires (to their stupid computer-generated vampire children):Yesss! Feed my dhalings! Feed! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Villagers: Aieeeeeee!
Stupid Computer-Generated Vampires:Feed! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Villagers: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Stupid Computer-Generated Vampires:Ha! Ha! Ha!
Villagers: Aieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

There, now you've pretty much got the idea of Van Helsing. The whole time I wondered why the villagers put up with their daily sackings by vampires. Why don't they just move? I mean it's not like the weather in Transelvania is all that great. France is just around the corner.

2) Little Voice



This was an interesting movie. I can't really reccomend it but it did have some charming moments. Jane Horrocks is an immense talent. And she's so cute too. You just want to pick her up and cuddle.

The scene where Ewan Mccgregor pulls his ladder to her window to "check the wires" was priceless.

3) Hellboy



Overrated. The makeup was amazing and there were some decent scenes - but every character felt like a throwaway.

4) Harry Potter and The Prisoner Of Azkaban



This movie is such a step above the other 2 it's rediculous. It must be embarrassing for the previous director to look at this film and realize what a lousy product they pushed out.

Everything about this film works. The design is flawless and (unlike the first 2) actually feels real. The acting has vastly improved. The cinematography is lovely. And the plot is a doozy. Great job. This should be a contender for Best Picture of 04.

5) Muppet Treasure Island



I'm such a sucker for Muppet movies, and though this film is definately a step down from the earlier films, it still has plenty of funny moments.

One note, the kid who played Jim Hawkins has the most annoying voice in the world. Every time he opens his mouth to sing, it's like listening to a wounded mouse squeel. Gosh, I hated that kid.


So there's all the time I wasted over this weekend. Hmmm.