Thursday thoughts...

In addition to the new Weezer, I've also recently developed a liking for 80s glam divas. There's something about Invincible by Pat Benatar, Alone by Heart and Total Eclipse Of The Heart by Bonnie Tyler -- to name a few -- that just capture my ear.

I actually think it's their passion. All the girls in the 80s were sooooo dramatic. They were like Jewel turned up 10 notches. Every song sounded like they had just walked in on their husband cheating, picked up a mic, and recorded how they felt about it -- in other words, lots of angst. The girls today (Brittany, Christina, Etc.) don't come close.

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Don't you hate it in romance movies when everyone's sitting around and they ask the romantic hero, "Romantic Hero, what do you think love is?" And he proceeds to give his definition of love ("Love is like a star, it shines the brightest when the night is darkest" or "Love is like a flower, it only blooms after the winter" or "Love is like a blog, it only grows when the owner regularly posts...") whilst the girl of his desire looks on, impressed by his wisdom and insight.

Judging by movies, this is subject #1 at the dinner table but has this really ever happened to anyone? Not me. When I started hanging out at the Gulas house, seeking Suzanne's hand, Neil and Colleen didn't muse with me over the roast beef, "Tell us, Levi, what do you think love is?" If they did I would've been weirded out and thrown out some lame definition: "Love is like a blog...". (Thanks, Neil and Colleen for never putting me on the spot.)

Anyway, the other night Suzanne and I were looking for a pleasent movie to feel romantic over and the task fell to me to choose.

Enter, Music From Another Room. I should've taken a clue from the lone blurb on the cover: "A very sentimental film..." -- not really high praise, is it? It could be taken both ways.

So in the movie the inevitable occurs: "Romantic Hero, what do you say love is?"

I was prepared for the usual stock answer but this Romantic Hero (or the screenwriter) really pulled a doozy out of his pocket. Cue the romantic music and I quote:

"Love is like when you're singing along with music from another room, and a train passes by and you can't hear the music anymore... but you keep singing and it when the train passes you're still perfectly in synch with the music... that's what I think love is like."

Cut to the shot of the Romantic Interest looking like she's having a vision of heaven, while her heart slowly melts for this love-wise Romantic Hero -- we have our scene.

But as Suzanne pointed out, in all her level-headed wisdom: That definition of love makes no sense! "Love is like a mushy apple, it's soft and very sweet..." would've been a better definition than that!

Stupid movie.

Weezer: Make Believe

Ladies and gentlemen, I have heard Weezer album #5 and I thought I'd share a few thoughts.

Highlights:

Freak Me Out

I'm freaking out over Freak Me Out! This is my favorite Weezer song in years. The guitar parts seem to be made up entirely of harmonics and the result is very pretty. It's the most serious-sounding balled I've ever heard about such a mundane subject: getting freaked out by someone walking down a dark street. My favorite of the album.

Hold Me

River desperately cries out over the chorus: "Hold Me!" I love when he gets dramatic. This is a definite Weezer classic.

We Are All On Drugs

This song reminds me of Hash Pipe. I think Rivers gets in a certain groove when he's writing about drugs. It's extremely catchy and that's a bit of a problem because I find myself humming, "We are all on drugs..." By the way, this is an anti-drug song. I think it might be a bit of an apology for Hash Pipe and Dope Nose.

This Is Such A Pity

Groovy keyboards and a wicked glam-rock solo. I think I might hear a former Rentals member on background vocals. (It's a girl anyway).

Random Thoughts:

This album sounds very classic Weezer: Guitar driven, harmonies, un-pretentious subject matter for the lyrics.

Rivers seems to be in much more healthy frame of mind then the Malidroit days (though still weird, did anyone read the Rolling Stone article?). If you've never heard a rock star sincerely apologize in song to his fans for being a jerk then listen to Pardon Me.

The rest of the album is still a bit of a blur. I think the other songs are going to have to grow on me a bit.

This is a very good Weezer album. I already like it much more than Malidroit. Walker, you're going to go bonkers.

This is a good year for music. My musical hero, Billy Corgan is coming out with his first solo album: TheFutureEmbrace. Shakira and Ben Folds both have new albums due out soon. There's a lot to look forward to.

Superman - first look

After years in development limbo, the new Superman movie is on it's way and the first image of the man himself leaked out today.



Then, as Clark:


I'm pretty excited about this film. The director is the gentlemen responsible for the X-Men films and The Usual Suspects, among others. I think he'll do a smash-up job. Here's hoping it's nothing like Daredevil. *shudder*

Anyone else rooting for a great Superman film?

Levi's Most-overrated Movie Awards

All right... I'm a little nervous posting this after the hubbub my last post caused. Let me just say that I'm sorry If my choices hurt you -- but the truth can hurt.

If you have any suggestions, please let me know and I'll add them.

So without further adieu, here's the awards.

1. The English Patient
   
   How do you take an actor as cool as Ralph Fiennes and a setting as exciting as WWII, beautiful women and make it all utterly tedious, unappealing and boring? Answer: The English Patient. Watching this movie is like getting a massage by Edward Scissorhands.
   
   How did this film win Best Picture? Looking at the other nomeniees gives me a clue: "Fargo", "Jerry Maguire", "Secrets and Lies", "Shine". Jeeze. Not best year for Hollywood, was it? Still, one second of Fargo is better then the million-hour length of The English Patient.
   
   Director/Writer Anthony Minghella seems to have either bought off movie critics, or generated sympathy on account of his weird last name. You'll notice that he's the guy responsible for the universally-loved Cold Mountain. - Wait. That movie stank too.
   
   Joe put it perfectly:
   
   "This movie convinced me that the romance of two impertinent and aristocratic people isn't interesting, even if one of them is burned beyond recognition and the other dies in a plane crash."
   
   Well said Mr. Glenn.
   



2. Dances With Wolves
   
   Stupid, stupid, stupid. I saw this film in my movie-starved adolescence, when I thought Cool Runnings was awesome just because it was on a TV screen. Even then, I knew Dances With Wolves was lame.
   
   I think everyone was embarrassed that they gave this movie such accolades. Judging by what's happened to Kevin Costner's career after this film, they're taking their vengeance with the fury of a scorned woman. I forget, was Waterworld or The Postman nominated for anything?
   
   You know what would've made this movie great? If Kevin Costner changed the name to, Dances Naked with Angry Wolverines and based the plot around that. Now there's a movie that would be interesting.
   



3. Citizen Kane
   
   Here's where things get tricky. I think Citizen Kane is a good movie - very good. Orson Welles acts his rear off, the plot is interesting and it's nothing but lovely to look at. The reason I rate this so high is because whenever Hollywood-types refer to Citizen Kane they usually do so like this:
   
   "Oh Citizen Kane, the most glorious, wonderful, awe-inspiring, totally-awesome, brilliant, important, daring, cool movie of all time! I would cut out my own eyeballs, and sell my children as slaves to create a work of art that even approaches Citizen Kane."
   
   I'm here to announce that, sure it's a good movie -- but not the best. I watched it once and I'm perfectly content to leave it at that. People need to calm down about it.




4. Casablanca
   
   Another good movie that is not as good as everyone claims. I don't even think it's the best Bogart movie that I've seen. Is Casablanca better than, It Happened One Night, Roman Holiday, The Philadelphia Story or Some Like It Hot? I don't think so.
   
   


5. The Deer Hunter
   
   Another tedious, boring and horribly-long Best Picture. There's one or two good scenes in this marathon of a movie. What is it about Vietnam that breeds dumb films that critics love?
   
   
   


6. Fahrenheit 9/11
   
   overrated in so many ways.
   
   First in its impact on the election. When this film came out everyone was rubbing their hands saying things like, "Can George Bush overcome this film?" and "This may be the final blow for The President." As it turns out he did just fine.
   
   Secondly, how did a piece of corny leftist propaganda get an 84% percent positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Call me crazy, but this makes me think that some critics might lean left.
   
   



7. The Thin Red Line
   
   Embarrassingly enough, this movie came out the same year as Saving Private Ryan. Isn't that like releasing a new pocket calculator the same year that Apple releases the Macintosh?
   
   Maybe it was the random and pointless shots of wildlife, or the 10-second cameos by huge stars or Woody Harrelson blowing his butt off with a grenade (photo of the incident above) - this movie just didn't do it for me.
   
   For some reason, this film reminds me of what would happen if all us bloggers got together, went to a tropical island and decided to film a war movie. Everyone would feel sorry for us and out of sympathy call our film "A visually enchanting, philosophically murky meditation on war" and nominate it for Best Picture. But the end result would still suck and so does The Thin Red Line.
   
   



8. Remember the Titans
   
   
   "God help me, I hate you, little girl."
   
   The following is an excerpt from the screenplay of Remember The Titans.
   
   Football Player (cheering in joy as they win a football game): "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaah!"
   Crowd (cheering in joy as their team wins a football game): "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaah!"
   Black Football Player (using Mowtown music to bridge the gap between the races): "Aint no mountain high enough..."
   Football Player (abruptly getting hit by a car): "Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaarg!"
   
   For some reason, everyone but me and my family loves this movie. I remember renting it on the recommendation of countless of our friends. We put it in the VCR and about halfway through we began to verbally abuse the movie.
   
   This is not an "Inspirational and moving." film as Duane Dudek from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel would have you believe. Rather, it is silly and Motown-ridden.
   
   

And finally, a special category:
Movies, under-rated in their badness

I'm only going to add one movie to this category. In your comments please suggest movies and I'll add them until this is a vibrant, organic list!

1. The Buttercream Gang
   Scott, Pete, bubble-butts, Widow Jenkins... this is a classic of the genre. I'll never forget Pete's terrifying bread loaf rampage.
   
   Memorable Quote: "Hate you? Pete, why do you want me to hate you?"
   

That's all for now. Let me know what you think and give me your sugesstions.

Levi's Movie Awards - UDATED!

Thanks everyone who pointed out movies that I forgot or still need to watch. Keep the ideas coming!

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So I was sick the past few days and did little but lay in bed, watch movies, eat Otter Pops and drink Orange Juice; not a bad way to pass the time.

It's odd because lately whenever I get a fever my gluteus maximus (AKA: my butt) becomes extremely sore and achey. I don't exactly know why but I picture my immune system saying to the fever: "Come, let us do battle on his butt!" And that's where the sickness is vanquished. I can't think of another reason that my butt would be so sore.

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Anyway....

At the sugesstion of my mother, I thought it would be fun to list my favorite movies and most-overratted movies - kind of like the AMA's lists that put out every so often (Most Romantic, Best Drama, ETC.). If you feel like it, please list yours in reply.


Drama:

1. Crimes and Misdemeanors/Hannah and Her Sisters/Manhattan
   No one can make a better drama then Woody Allen at the top of his game.
   



2. Magnolia
   PT Anderson's film is an amazingly Christian look at the consequences of sin.
   


3. It's a Wonderful Life
   And on the opposite end of the film spectrum, another film that takes Christian look at the fruits of a Godly life.
   


4. Vertigo
   Is there any actress more beautiful than Kim Novak in Vertigo? No one except for...
   


5. Rear Window
   ...Grace Kelly in rear window.
   


6. Les Miserables (Thanks, Mom)
   This has got to be the nerdiest Marius ever realized. Spritual truths abound here.
   


Honorable Mention: What's Eating Gilbert Grape, The Elephant Man, The Breakfast Club

Romantic:

1. It Happened One Night
   I think every scene is this movie is perfect. There's so much sexual tension between Claudette Colbert and Clark Gable that you sympathize with his sort-of-a-jerk attitude throughout most of the film. I'd be a little rude under that kind of pressure.
   
   


2. The Princess Bride
   Hey Julia! Can you live in a world where The Princess Bride doesn't have an Oscar, you fool?
   


3. The Music Man
   I think I may have felt the first stirrings of young romance watching this movie. On a side note: What's the heck is that pretend-like-I'm-jumping-over-you thing that the young lovers do at the end as they frolic about. I still don't get that.
   


4. Moulin Rouge
   After this movie was over, Suzanne leaned over and gave me a very meaningful kiss. I think that says enough.
   


5. Far and Away
   More tension-filled romance. And lots of bare-knuckled boxing, which isn't romantic at all.
   


6. Sense and Sensibility
   This is the story of a 1700s Denise Salisbury. I wish Hollywood would understand that restraint is Romantic. Two people hopping in the sack seconds after they meet, isn't.
   


7. Roman Holiday
   Over the course of watching this, I developed a small crush for Audrey Hepburn. Weird.
   


Honorable Mentions: White Christmas, Holiday Inn, It's a Wonderful Life, Road to Morocco

Fantasy/SCI-FI:

1. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
   Is there anything better then Yoda's introduction, Han & Leia's tense relationship, Darth Vader rampaging and providing huge plot twists, Luke screaming "Noooooooooo" and Lando's weird laugh? No, there isn't. Don't try to tell me there is.
   


2. Star Wars: A New Hope
   As an 8-year-old this movie was a revelation. I can remember reciting the entire script word-for-word in my backyard, just to spend time with the story. It resonated with the very fibers of my being and I still love it. *sniff*
   


3. The Return Of The King
   Everyone in the world but Joe loves Lord Of The Rings. Especially The Return Of The King
   


4. The Two Towers
   And everyone loves everything about the The Two Towers too - except for that androgynous Rohan kid, AKA: Haleth, son of Hama. Just because the other guys wear their hair like that doesn't make it right for you...
   


5. The Princess Bride
   Honestly, The Princess Bride should be on every list but Best Documentary.
   


6. Blade Runner
   "All those moments will be lost, like tears in the rain..." is, to me, the most poignant moment in cinema.
   


7. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon
   This movie kicks Hero's sorry behind. The ending of the movie is stunningly perfect.
   


8. Legend
   I'm alone on this one. But -- forgive me -- Mia Sara running through that field in the opening is too much to resist. The Tangerine Dream soundtrack deals the final blow and I'm in love.
   


9. Signs/Unbreakable
   I can't decide which one I like more. They are both so good but for different reasons.
   


Honorable Mentions: Raiders of the Lost Ark , Big Fish, The Neverending Story

Historical:

1. Saving Private Ryan
   You can tell a movie is good when everybody copies it. Think about it: After its release, have you seen a battle scene that didn't use some element from Saving Private Ryan? "Earn this." is such a convicting line. This movie blasts everything by Oliver Stone to pieces.
   


2. Glory
   Why didn't this sweep the 1989 Oscars?
   


3. Life Is Beautiful
   One of the most beautiful films I've ever seen.
   


4. Amadeus
   I think this film says a lot about free will VS God's will.
   

Comedy:

1. The Office: Season 2
   It's too bad that this is so dirty because I honestly think it's the funniest thing I've ever seen.
   


2. The Road to Morocco
   Bob Hope and Bing Crosby in top form.
   


3. Bullets Over Broadway/Manhattan Murder Mystery/Broadway Danny Rose/Annie Hall/Play It Again, Sam/Bananas/Take the Money and Run
   I think my muse looks something like Woody Allen.
   


4. Raising Arizona/Fargo/The Big Lebowski/O Brother, Where Art Thou?/Intolerable Cruelty/The Ladykillers (Thanks, Mom)
   The Cohen Brothers don't always make films I like. But when they do, they're some of my favorites. I eagerly await their each new film.
   


5. Napoleon Dynamite
   This may be a cliche, but this movie is hilarious.
   


6. Waiting For Guffman
   I thought this was the best mockumentary until I saw The Office. Nonetheless, it is still hysterical.
   


7. Bottle Rocket
   Dignan, Anthony and Bob have become like friends to me.
   


8. As Good as It Gets
   This is an oddball; I'm not sure where to put it. But I knew that this was a great film when I was hoping that it wouldn't end. Best. Romantic Comedy. Ever.
   


9. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
   I have to mention this movie on account that it is amazingly funny.
   


10. Ferris Bueller's Day Off(Thanks, Sadie.)
    Can the 80s get any better. (The best decade for movies in my opinion.)
    


11. The Pirates of Penzance (Thanks, Mom.)
    Few have seen this movie and of those that have only a few liked it. I guess I am one of the chosen few because I think this movie is a riot. Who can not laugh when the the entire chorus shouts the verses of, "SILENT AS CATS WE CREEP!" with cannons in the background.
    

Family/Children's:

1. Beauty and the Beast
   Me, my dad, my mom and my sisters all loved this movie. This is Disney in it's prime. They didn't have Eddie Murphy and Rosie O'Donell doing the voices, they had real voice actors. The animation was beautiful to behold - before computer animation was driven into the ground. The heros and villians were multi-dimensional and real. Who can forget The Beast, Lumiere and Cogsworth and Gaston?
   


2. The Little Mermaid
   I actually think the animation in this one is better than Beauty and the Beast but the rest loses out by a hair. This was the first in an amazing run by Disney.
   


3. Toy Story 2
   A sequel that improves upon its predecessor. I wonder what Jack would be like without this movie. This is the film that made computer animation for me.
   


4. The Incredibles
   Wow, a family movie that seems to understand families. Also the best superhero movie ever.
   

Honorable Mention: Finding Nemo, The Wizard Of Oz, Toy Story, Spirited Away

I think that's about it. If you guys are going "why didn't he include this movie?" -- let me know.

My next post will list the most overrated movies of all time. Beware -- it may shock you.

Wanna see something pretty creepy yet totally cool?

This is a trailer to a horror/fantasy film that's pretty creepy, so don't watch it if you're easily scared.

But man does this movie look wicked!

Click here to watch Night Watch

Duhhhh daaaaa, da-da-duh daaaaaa duh

Ah, the trees are blooming and the sun is shining. Yes everyone, that tri-annual spring event we eagerly await is nearly upon us: The newest Star Wars movie.

For those who haven't followed this film as closely as I, here's a bit of an update on the plot as it currently stands. (Excepted from Pointless Waste Of Time.)


Above: Throughout the film, the words of George Lucas occasionally appear superimposed on the screen in French.


Behold! Here is a SUPER BATTLE DROID. I'm afraid we'll have to wait until May to see the outcome of this attack.


Oh, wait, no.


I believe this is the scene where Padme dies. The expression on Heyden Christiansen's face bears all of the anguish of a thousand galaxies.



We can only imagine the mixed emotions Boba Fett must have felt in The Empire Strikes Back when he walked on board the Star Destroyer only to find himself among ten thousand of his dead Dad.


Mace unleashes his PURPLE BROADSABER, a specially-made lightsaber with a blade more than two feet wide!


Obi-Wan and Yoda (middle-right) let off some steam by killing dozens of strangers.


"Anikan's mind has become rough and irritating, like sand."


Obi-Wan fights bravely.


They advance to the Lava Level.


Both men fall into the lava and are killed instantly.


Anakin sits bolt upright in bed.


It was all a dream.

(Thanks again to PWOT)

Sorry about that silliness. I am giddy with excitement over Revenge of the Sith!

In which Levi finds time to post

Hi everyone: Sorry about last week's lack of postage. Hopefully I'll have a little more time in April.

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An interesting thing happened to me last Thursday.

Let me set the scene: I was stuck in traffic jam. The cars had all decided to take a break from going places and seemed to be socializing or something. I had just left my job and was in the surreal state that lies between staring at a computer screen for 8+ hours and the first gas station cup of coffee. For reasons I can't remember I had put on my sweater and pulled my hood low over my head, like a gangster or Anakin Skywalker when he wipes out the jedi. The stereo was playing NPR classical music.

As I sat there, I happened to glance in my rearview mirror (there's not much to do stuck in traffic) and I saw something that caught my interest: The man in the car directly behind me opened his door.

This isn't a crazy thing to do when stuck in traffic. I've seen people clean their windshields in such situations. I assumed this man merely had to satisfy a whimsical urge to open his door - nothing more.

But he stepped entirely out of his car. I got my first good look at the guy: A tall dude with shaggy gray hair (let's call him, Oompa Loompa Man). Nothing impressive...

...until he started advancing on my car. Then I reevaluated the situation.

When a person gets out of their car and starts walking towards your car, to me it indicates the following:

1. I have accidentally cut them off and they are going to take physical revenge


2. The traffic jam has finally snapped their mind (don't laugh - I've had nervous breakdowns in traffic on numerous occasions) and they are going to randomly kill the occupant of the first car they look at, IE: me


3. I've somehow double-crossed the Mafia and Oompa Loompa Man is the assassin.

All these scenarios involved physical pain or death for me. I had just enough time to rouse myself from the post-work stupor and frantically lock my doors (not my most courageous moment) before Oompa Loompa Man reached my window.

Oompa Loompa Man: (Makes the "roll down your window" motion with his hand)

To appease him, I open the window a hairline crack.

Oompa Loompa Man: "Your left tail light is out."

I grunt some sort of guttural affirmative, like a caveman. (In retrospect, I don't know why I acted like a caveman under pressure. It seemed like the best thing to do in the heat of the moment.)

Oompa Loompa Man returned to his car, leaving me much more awake.

Then it hit me, what a weirdo that guy was! What is he, the patron saint of left tail lights? What drove him to get out of his car in the middle of traffic, approach my window, freak me out and deliver his message? Does the sight of a dim tail light cut him to the core of his being?

He was taking a big risk to notify me. People don't take kindly to strangers advancing on their window. He could've gotten pepper sprayed or a gun barrel shoved his face; I would've done that if I had any of those things available.

Most of all, I know that my tail light is out and I don't care. It still lights up at night just as well as the rest of my lights. It just doesn't get brighter when I hit my brakes. I figure my right tail light can pick up the slack for the time being. I don't need strangers to leap out of nowhere and notify me.